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Ethan Mitchell
*1999 in Waycross, Georgia, USA

When he was seven, Ethan Mitchell found a dead possum floating in his grandparents’ swimming pool in the dead of winter. Minutes later, he fell into the pool with the aforementioned possum. He thought it was an extremely serious, near-death experience, but everyone else seemed to think it was hilarious. At first, all that guffawing and hee-hawing bothered him, but he eventually discovered that he enjoyed making people laugh that hard. He has spent the 17 years since the possum incident secretly hoping he has another absurd, near-death experience he can use as material. That hasn’t happened yet, so he has settled for stories about normal things, like growing up home schooled near a swamp, the social customs of Southern Baptists, and the offspring of his great-grandparents’ fifteen children.

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